Wow. It's been almost 2 years since I last posted anything here. It is so strange to look back and read all of my old entries and see how naive I was. How naive we all were. All the drama and all the posts about all things that didn't matter. Wow. What a time. It must have been nice not having a care in the world. Not having to worry about rent, school, credit card payments, and how you were going to eat on $1.50 a day. Not having to worry about the laundry, the three midterms you have coming up, and the unimportant, yet complicated bullshit of everyday life. I can't remember a time like that. 

If you haven't noticed, I'm bitter.

It's ridiculous to say that "so much has happened" in 2 years - of course it has. But, in my defense, if anyone had asked me about the future on New Years Eve 2 years ago I would never have guessed I would end up here. And of course, that is incorrect as well, because this is not my end at all, although it sometimes seems it would be nice if it were.

If I were writing an overview of the last few years it would go like this: 

Tyler. Graduation. Summer. Alyx. Capital University. No friends. Got job. Made friends. Lost Tyler. Was depressed. Got Tyler back. Had fun with friends. Started to slack in school. Fun. Fun. Summer. Tyler Tyler. Tyler. Transferred to OSU. Moved in with Jess and Tyler. No friends. No friends. No friends. Got job. Findlay flooded. Lost everything. Tyler. Drama. Drama. Drama. Police. Drama. Tyler. Broke Up. Tyler moved out. Jess moved out. Got stuck with apartment. Alone. Alone. Alyx. Alyx. Alyx. Hated school. Still hate school. Miss Tyler. Was depressed. Started Smoking. Alyx. Alyx. Alyx. Still depressed. Still miss Tyler. Get cat. Start to get over Tyler. Alyx. Alyx. Start to like Nate. Quit smoking. Learn that Nate doesn't feel the same. Get more depressed. Work. Work. Pay rent. Miss Tyler. Miss Nate. Hate school. Skip school. Work constantly. Get sick. Take time off work. 

And that pretty much brings you up to speed (minus the details that you wouldn't have actually cared enough to read anyway). 

It just blows my mind how much someone can change in so short a time. I can't even begin to expalin how much I have changed. Whether it be my outlook on life or my musical tastes; my opinions or my beliefs; my friends or my relationships. I am changed in so many ways. And no matter how bad I sometimes make it all sound, I know that I am constantly learning and improving.

New Year's Eve was a lot of fun. Alyx, Steph, and I spent the evening at Seth's house. We have fun. Lol. (And that's all I'll say about that...)

Break went by too fast, but it's not like school is too difficult for me, just the getting up early is.

Ceramics is almost over and it makes me sad. Today we fired the last of my stuff besides our exam project. I'll really miss that class next semester. :(

Art III is making me mad. I'm sick of doing what we're doing, and I don't want to do what we're going to be doing next. That class just can't please me anymore.

Music Tech is going good. We're creating a web page including a bio and our 10 favorite songs with music clips attatched. I can tell you now that there's no way in hell I'll be able to pick just 10. I started a list and after editing and cutting it down 4 or 5 times there's still 21 songs left. That's not so good. Eeee! Any suggestions? I think my only definite songs are the following: "September", "Dance Dance", "Big Machine" and "O Fortuna". We also need a favorite artist/band. Ok, if you know me at all you know how hard this is going to be for me. There's NO WAY! NONE! NONE AT ALL! Oh well. HELP!

FFE was good. A lot of talking, but we got things done none-the-less. Lisa and I get to do the cool hip lift. It's really cool (not as cool as Katie's wacked-out lift, but stil...), but it really hurts to do. I'm so sore, and so I hear, everyone else who did it is too. At least it'll look really cool.

Ok, I think that's all. Later on.

Tuesday I slept in until 3 in the afternoon. Very nice as I recall. Lol. That night I went out to eat at Cheddar's with Alyx, Steph, and Seth. We had the worst server ever and it took over an hour to order our food. We got there at 5:40, got to a table at a little before 6, and didn't order until 7. No joke, no exaggeration; our server was that bad. Seth told the manager and then the manager came to our table. As you could have guessed, the server got no tip. Sorry bud. It's a shame too, because we are really good tippers.

Wednesday I spent the day with Scott. We went shopping and did some returning of a few unwanted Christmas items at the same time. We had fun. I went home at about 5 cuz it was my mom's birthday. We went out to eat and got Chinese, which was good then we came home and watch tv for a bit. My mom went to bed at about 9-ish and said I could go somewhere, so I went to Alyx's house and goofed around.

Today (yesterday if you're one of those people) we had FFE from 9-12. It was rather uneventful I thought, but whatever. After that Alyx and I went shopping and got a CD for me and perfume for her. Then I went home and ate and watched some tv. Then Scott and I went to Meijer then to Deedee's house. We hung out wit her and Karlie and watch some of March of the Penguins (they're soooo cute!!!), and then Alyx joined us and then Robby came in later. We all played "peanuts", which was no fun and ended up making me really mad cuz Karlie and Robby were helping Scott cheat. Then we played Pictionary, which was pretty fun. It's interesting how different people interpret things differently. After that we went back to Alyx's house and played Rack-O, and now I'm home. I wasn't going to update because I'm tired, but I was about to explode if I didn't. Lol.

My favorite songs of the week:

"Sympathy" - Goo Goo Dolls
"Big Machine" - Goo Goo Dolls
"Extraordinary Machine" - Fiona Apple
"September" - Earth Wind & Fire
"Window" - Fiona Apple
"I Want You" - Savage Garden

My new favorite song of the day:

Big Machine

Ecstacy is all you need
Living in the big machine now
Oh, you're so vein
Now your world is way too fast
Nothings real and nothing lasts
And I’m aware
I’m in love but you don’t care
Turn your anger into lust
I’m still here but you don’t trust at all
And I’ll be waiting
Love and sex and loneliness
Take what’s yours and leave the rest
So I’ll survive
God it’s good to be alive

I’m torn in pieces
I’m blind and waiting
My heart is reeling
I’m blind and waiting for you

Still in love with all your sins
Where you stop then I’ll begin
And I’ll be waiting
Little like a house on fire
What you fear is your desire
It’s hard to deal
I still love the way you feel
Love is angry little girl
Drowning in this petty world
And I’ll
Glue your own tools
Swallow all your bitter pills
That’s what makes you beautiful
You're all alive
I don’t need what you ain’t got

I’m torn in pieces
I’m blind and waiting
My heart is reeling
I’m blind and waiting for you

I’m blind and waiting for you
I’m blind and waiting for you
No I can’t believe it’s coming true
God it’s good to be alive
And I’m still waiting for you
No I can’t believe it’s coming true
I’m blind and waiting for you

Christmas Eve I went to Alyx's house and we exchanged presents. We did really good, I think. I got my globe (from last year lol), a 365-day calendar of Italy, the book The Broker, the Clue card game (which is really fun), a bunch of candy and stuff, a matchbox car of the mustang that I really want, the Earth Wind & Fire CD that I have been trying to buy forever, a sweet fuzzy pillow, and a cool collage of one of my senior pictures. I like everything a lot. :)

After that I worked from 4:15-8:00 and then went to the midnight service at my grandma's church with her and my aunt. It was a good service and I actually enjoyed going.

Today (Christmas Day) I was woken up at 8:30 by my sister so that we could open presents. I got a lot of stuff that I like. I got the brown corduroy jacket that I wanted (like Christian's), 2 pairs of jeans with holes (I almost said "holy jeans" but that wouldn't be the right kind of hole lol), 2 sweaters, 2 thermal shirts that I wanted, and a bunch of candy.

Then we went to my aunt's around 3. Dinner was good. As far as gifts go, I got another sweater, a track jacket that says "Italia" on it, a gray hooded sweatshirt with yellow stripes, a pair of gloves (that I have to exchange for a different kind), and a boxed set of "The Lucy Show".

I liked everything I got, but I was a bit disappointed because I didn't get any of the things I needed. I need a new boombox because mine won't play anymore, a bigger book shelf so that I don't have to keep stacking my books on the floor, and a digital camera so that I can stop wasting money on disposable cameras. Oh, and no one said a word about my car. Either they've decided not to give it to me (which wouldn't surprise me), or they didn't want to say anything in front of my cousins who would have been jealous. I'm not sure, but either way I was disappointed. :(

But, I'm not complaining. I had a good Christmas and I'm glad I could give as much as I did to the people I care about. :)

I'm out.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Do you remember the 21st night of september?
Love was changing the minds of pretenders
While chasing the clouds away

Our hearts were ringing
In the key that our souls were singing.
As we danced in the night,
Remember how the stars stole the night away

Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in september
Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day

My thoughts are with you
Holding hands with your heart to see you
Only blue talk and love,
Remember how we knew love was here to stay

Now december found the love that we shared in september.
Only blue talk and love,
Remember the true love we share today

Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in september
Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day

Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in september
Ba de ya - golden dreams were shiny days

Reverberation was last night. It went really well I thought, except for the last song "Wonderwall" which was a little lame. Clay and Christian were awesome! I think we made about $1,000. That means, after we pay all that we need (lights, sound, advertising, etc.) we made about $600 profit. That's pretty good I think. Mrs. Hall was excited about it too.

After Reverb, we went to Drew's house and exchanged gifts. It was fun. After that we watched Saw, which was my present from Liz. :)

This morning I got up and went to church. Yes, church. Yes, on a Friday. Don't ask. When I got home we got the mail and I got an acceptance letter from Capital University. Yay! That's relieving because now I've at least been accepted somewhere, and if not anywhere else I'll have somewhere to go.

I think that's all. I'm gonna go eat, then go to work. Hanging out with Alyx, Steph, and Seth later. If it's after 9:30, give me a call on my cell phone. :)

TTYL.

I went shopping today. Finished all of my Christmas shopping except for a few Alyx things.

I bought myself a present while I was at it. I finally found a photo album that I like. It holds 300 pictures and so I went through all of mine tonight to decide which to put in. My dilema was that fact that I have about 1000 pictures and didn't have room for all of the ones that I wanted to put in there. Oh, well. I guess I just need another one.

Reverb is... well, going at least. The posters are up, ticket sales have started, and we had our first rough run-through on Saturday morning. I can't really tell you how that went though, because that would give it away to all of you - besides, I don't even know how it went cuz we were fucking with the lights the whole time.

Saturday night we went to Seth's house and played cards and saw Steph's new kitty. It's really cute. I had a lot of fun.

I don't want to talk about what happened Friday night cuz I'm just not in the mood and I'm not even going to speak of the Liz/Phil thing. But can I say *cough*uncomfortable*cough*. I talked to Phil for a long time while Liz was down in the basement with Drew and Alyx, and it was very... reassuring? I guess that's the word. I think he is the one person who understands how I really feel about college.

I don't want to go back to school tomorrow. Ick!

4 more days...

TTYL.

Hey hey hey...

So much happened in the past few days! It has been so eventful (in both good and bad ways).

Thursday was Alyx's real birthday. I gave her her present, which was tickets to the Phantom of the Opera. She was really excited. We saw it on Sunday, but I'll get to that later.

Friday we had a snow day, but we still had a show at the Country Club. Afterward everyone went to party at Karlie's, except for me because I had to take the ACT on Saturday (ewww).

Saturday started bright and early. The ACT started good - the English and Math sections went better than I expected, but once we got to the science it all went to hell. I think I was somewhere around half-way done when Mr. Elbin called "5 minutes". Shit! Oh well... Saturday continued with the Spaghetti Dinner performances - one at 4 and another at 7:30. It went well I think. Then after that Scott, Alyx, and I went to Drew's house and talked and wrestled. Then at 12:30 Christian came over and we went to Walmart and bought food and a pillow for me...lol (don't ask). Christian and I ended up spending the night.

Sunday was consumed by the Phantom. We saw it in Cinci at the Arnoff Center. It was the tallest theater ever. It was the weirdest theater I have ever seen at least, and I've seen my fair share. The show was really good. David Cryer, the alumni performer from two years ago, was in it - he played M. Firmir, the owner of the opera house. He was really good. Then on the way home we ate at Olive Garden. When we got back to Findlay we went to Seth's new house. ~new paragraph...~

...Seth's new house. Until then I had only ever driven by it, and as it turns out, it wasn't what I thought it was. We thought it was the house house, but it is actually the garage beside the house that had been put up for rent as an apartment. It has 4 rooms - bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and living room. It is the smallest thing I have ever seen, but it is really awesome that he is doing this and paying for it all himself when he is only 19. Alyx and I are planning on helping clean and furnish the house, since, at the moment, it isn't in the best condition. We are going to try to buy him some of the things that he has to have that he can't afford, like a broom and cups and plates and stuff. I really want to do as much as I can to help because this house is also benefiting us. Steph and I were talking and we both came up with the word "safe haven" at the same time. And it really is. A safe haven from all these crazy, psychotic people that we all just can't deal with sometimes - and that may be an understatement. It really does feel like it's a house for the 4 of us. And thank God for it. And that's why we want to help.

And so much has changed with everyone relationship-wise. Drew and Deedee broke up. Phil and Liz, so I hear as of 30 minutes ago. Karlie likes -o-- -a-e-. Nick wont say who he likes. Who the hell knows about Drew now... I don't know. It's just weird. So many changes in just a few days...

Mr. Manley wasn't at school today because he flipped his car. He's alright, but he started crying in practice and he said it was really scary. Mr. Smith took us to our performance at Rotary, which we got out of school for. It was good, I guess. Lol. The food was good. Tonight Andy was supposed to have come, but didn't so we got out early and we all went to George House and talked and drank, etc., etc..

And finally now I'm here....

Wow, that was pretty long.

Ok, I'll talk to you all tomorrow.

Nighty night.

So, I'm still alive, I promise.

Alyx's birthday party was tonight. We went to Olive Garden and a bunch of people came. It was Steph, Seth, Me, Alyx, Drew, Deedee, Phil, and Jessica. It was a lot fun. I think she had a good time. :) I know Seth and I had fun making fun of Alyx and Steph, so... lol.

I've been gone so long that I've forgotten everything I wanted to say.

Music Tech is finishing up World Music projects and getting a move on Reverb stuff (at least I am). I made a bottle in ceramics that turned out really cool. It kinda looks like a fish. Lol. Then today I finished my project for Art III. The assignment was to make food out of clay, so Alyx and I came up with Chinese food. I made a really cool Chinese takeout box and a fortune cookie and then once it's fired I'm going to glue chopsticks to it. I think it turned out really cool and I can't wait till it gets fired.

Seth bought his own house. It will be cool because we all (Steph, Seth, Alyx, and I) can hang out there now, that is if my Grandma doesn't find out. Lol (except it's not funny).

Alyx's real birthday is tomorrow and she will get her big present from me. I think she'll like it but I can't tell you yet.

Ummmm...what else? Oh...!

The Christmas show is going good. Just like always it seems. The Spaghetti Dinner is on Saturday. Fun stuff.

Hopefully we have a snow day on Friday. I hear it's going to be bad out. Yes!

So, since I went shopping with Scott, I'm done Christmas shopping for everyone except my grandma, my aunt, Steph, and Alyx. That's not bad for a kid who hasn't worked for a week and has no money. Lol.

Ok, I'm sick of being online. ByE BYe!

~Grantala

Wow, it's been awhile. Turkey Day and all of break went well. Too fast though. I have a ton of work to do for Lit class - a whole book to read, a paper to write, and no motivation. Spark notes look good about now.

Christmas is coming. Lots of presents to buy! I'm excited.

Ok, I'm done. TTYL.

Last night was Stephy's birthday party. We went to Toledo and we told her we were going to the zoo, but we actually went to see the Toledo Symphony Orchestra. They were really good, but I just didn't like many of the pieces that they played.

They played a piece by Bartok that I really must say I hated, because it was so out there and so random and so hard to follow. I tried to look at it like Mrs. Hall teaches us in tech and look for sections and different forms, but I honestly couldn't find any. I couldn't tell the difference between what I had already heard and what I was hearing because everything was such a big jumble. Also, it didn't help that the piece was 25 minutes long. I must say that my focus lingered a little after the first 5 or 10 minutes.

Finally, at the end they played a piece by Ravel that I really enjoyed because it was more what I expected to hear in the first place. I really liked it.

After the Symphony, we came back to Alyx's house and ordered pizza. Then Steph and Seth had to leave. Alyx and I sat around and ate some more food and then finally I went home about an hour later.

Ok, time to go get ready for work. Drew's house after.

TTYL.

Yesterday was crazy. The one night I get off all week and I go and fill it up completely...lol.

After school we watched Sex and the City. Then we ate at Applebee's. Then we went to the POPS Concert, which was really good. (The Nutcracker is very dear to my heart ever since I saw it in the fourth grade.) Then we went to War of the Worlds at the new movie theater, because they had this special going on on all the older movies where you got pop, popcorn, and a movie for 3 dollars. I decided I liked it a lot more now that I have seen it in English. Lol. Then after that we stayed for the midnight showing of Harry Potter ~spoken with an English accent~ which didn't get out until 2:45. I got to bed around 3:15 and I'm sooo exhausted today. I slept through all of first period and the beginning of second. Lol. Haha. I suck. We suck. I spent so much money yesterday. Oh well.

Tonight we're doing stuff for Stephy's birthday. I'm excited. Yay!

TTYL.

I think I have enough to say to make a decent sized entry. We'll find out.

Today was gossip day at school. I heard all kinds of new juicy gossip and lots of stories. Lol. (I would just like to say that I need to puke on almost all of the relationships taking place at the current time...sorry.)

I made a mess of myself in art today, but it was fun. I have so many new ideas now. :)

Work was really slow, but it was to be expected on a Monday night. At least one good thing came of it: I got about 20 pages read of Dracula. I like it so far. :) Then, as everyone was about to leave, Missy told us a story about how she was driving down the highway on her way to work and had to stop for a deer crossing the road. Well apparently the deer panics at the sight of the car, but, instead of running away, it comes toward it. It climbs up on top of the car and sits there. So she's freaking out and the guy in the car behind her gets out to shoo the deer of the car and finally gets it to move, in the process ruining her car. I found the story very entertaining - even though if it had been me it wouldn't be - and it was the inspiration for my icon. Oh deer. Lol.

Thursday is the POPS Concert. I'm excited. Then on Friday Alyx, Steph, Seth, and I are going to the Toledo Zoo - that should be a lot of fun. Then I work on Saturday and Sunday - not so fun. Monday is our last day of school before break, but then we have FFE practice from 9-12 and 1-4 the next day. Ugggh. Wednesday I think we are going to Cincinnati to visit Phil (and hopefully shop if we're going all that way lol).

I think that's all.

Shower time.

Night All.

Blah blah blah.

Work, school, FFE. Lots happened.

Worked all weekend. Watched a movie with Alyx, Steph, and Seth Friday night. Saturday went to Drew's and goofed off until 3. Got to bed around 4.

Fun stuff.

School tomorrow. I'm kinda looking forward to it and kinda not.

TTYL.

~Grantly

Ada competition was good. Even though we didn't stay for finals we still won 10 awards, including: best band, best choreo, best vocals, and best female soloist (Steph). :) Yay! Go us! When we left we were in first place and Piqua was in second. In finals, Piqua won and VB was runner-up. I know it may sound a little big-headed, but I can't imagine being Piqua and having "the only reason we won is because Findlay wasn't here" on my mind all night. That would suck. But I must say, I really did enjoy their show. They were really good. But still... :) Lol.

I got my senior pictures back after work today. I think I like most of them, which is more than I expected. I'll bring them to school tomorrow for you all to see. :)

That's all I think.

TTYL.

I'm not sure what today was. I was in and out of it all day. I'm not sure what kind of a mood I was in either. I think I was very back and forth all day.

Practice was good, I thought. After practice we did the lift that we do to Steph in "I Got Rhythm", only, we did it to Mr. Manley! Lol. It was sooo funny.

Hmmm...I really dont know what else to say. I was just bored so I figured I'd update for the sake of something to do. (What a waste of space this poor little entry will be on you friends page. Muahahaha! Lol.)

I'm gone...

Some fun Halloween facts for you, brought to you by J. Hall:

Halloween came to be because of the tradition of All Saints Day. People believed that, starting at midnight on October 31st, all the spirits and supernatural beings of the world were free to roam the earth. This took place between midnight on Halloween and sunrise the next day. Because of this superstition people stayed inside all night and put out jack-o-lanterns to scare away the evil spirits. The tradition of trick-or-treat came about because of all the homeless children who would go from door to door on this night, asking for food because they knew everyone would be inside.

I thought it was kind of interesting when she told us that in music tech today, because I didn't know the part about trick-or-treat. I liked it and I thought I would share. :)

School was ok...it was just one of those days. I think today turned out to be more like "fairy tale/cartoon day" then "dress up for Halloween day". There was Cinderella, Snow White and the seven dwarfs, Dorothy and the scarecrow, Care Bears, the three little pigs and the big bad wolf, and the teenage mutant ninja turtles. Then to top it off, a group of us went as Goldilocks and the three bears. (I was Poppa Bear, Alyx was Momma Bear, Andrew was Baby Bear, and Jessica was Goldilocks. LOL.) It was fun after I got over the fact that I looked retarded. Lol.

FFE was boring tonight and I felt like it was a huge waste of time because I know that it accomplished absolutely nothing. Oh well... :(

Ok, I think I wanna go to Walmart, so I'm going now.

Happy Halloween!

Last night we went to see Saw II. Oh my God, it was soooo good! It was absolutely disgusting and I almost started crying it was sooo bad, but we loved every minute of it. There is a part where a girl gets thrown into a pool of needles and a part where a guy cuts off the skin on the back of his neck. Ewww....it was sooo gross. I'm so glad it was good and it had better acting than the other Saw. It made us really happy and really grossed out all at the same time. It was great. Lol.

Then this morning we went to the Toledo Museum of Art with Art Club. It was a lot of fun, even though only like 5 people went. I love Mr. Gaberdiel....he's my favorite. He is soo cool. He told us so much stuff about the art, like the symbolism and stuff that we never knew about. It was really interesting. I liked it a lot.

Now we're sitting around at Alyx's house waiting for 4:30 to roll around so we can start getting ready for Fall Fest tonight. (You'll probably get a post about that too...don't worry. Lol.)

Ok...leaving.

SYS

Practice tonight was good. I have to update about it for two reasons. First reason being my huge WIPE OUT in the front row in front of everyone. See, what happened was, I was trying to switch from taps to regular dance shoes and I was in a rush because they were starting so I was running and my foot got caught on the floor and my knees went down under my feet and it all went to hell from there. After the whole group stopped laughing and clapping at me (including Mr. Manley and Mr. Smith in the balcony), Mr. Manley named me and Kellyn best performers on "Hot Hot Hot". So you see, I may be a klutz, but I've still got it (whatever that is). Lol.

That's all I wanted. More tomorrow, I'm sure.

Night all.

~Grant

School. Blah. (Too sleepy this morning to remember any of it.)

FFE. Pretty good I thought. I wore taps for the first time. It is sooo different than doing it in tennis shoes, but I'm getting better already. It will take some time. Haven't decided to wear them this weekend or not. I'm thinking not right now. We'll see....

Ummm ummm ummm...

I guess that's all. TTYL.

Lol.

Reality Show Choir...what a great reality tv show...don't you think? I'd watch it. Lol. They'd show auditions and people preparing, then summer camp and the first meetings with Andy, then getting ready for competitions and the Christmas show. It would be funny to see confessionals of people worrying about Andy practice and then to see him finally get there. They'd make it all dramatic and such. Like I said...I'd watch it. Lol.

Anyways, tonight was Andy. It was almost hell, just as expected. Lol. The tap on Steph's solo definitely isn't together and everyone was really frustrated with everything. It wasn't pretty, but, as Andy said, this time of year is always like this. Oh well. Practice practice practice makes perfect perfect perfect.

I'm sore, my feet hurt, and Nip/Tuck is on so I'm going now. TTYL.